Most days, I had the sauna to myself, getting reacquainted with the dry heat after months away. One afternoon after my shift, I stepped inside to find people actually in there. I took the only remaining seat in a dark corner, noting the elderly woman sprawled out naked, as if she were basking on a […]
Stepped into the blizzard, trudging across the massive, wind-swept parking lot of L.A. Fitness. Snow falling sideways, stinging my eyes. Cars sat buried beneath fresh drifts, the lot nearly empty. “Welcome in,” the guy at the front desk said, a massive puddle of fast-melting snow pooling at my feet. Brushing the dampness from my hair, […]
It was after the movement disorder and before that I started losing myself. Sitting on the bus, watching the snow fall on Michigan Ave., wondering where life was headed and how things had gotten so stuck. Someone had made me trudge through a field of quicksand. Except no one had made me do anything, see? […]
When I lost the prescription plan, life got harder. Can’t remember why I lost it. Did I switch insurance or did they switch me? I think they switched me. One day I had it, the next I didn’t. It was so messed up. Was in the new place by then. The one in Boystown, a […]
Don’t talk about the hug, the one with Dennis in L.A. Feel it from time to time, though. Even now. The energy became part of my soul. Was it his energy? It’s both of ours now. Cruising the pitch-black roads from Santa Monica to West Hollywood in silence. Glare of headlights against the dark, his […]
I keep returning to the moment in Dr. Sullivan’s office where I’m breaking down in tears and he’s shouting, “Don’t be such a baby.” That’s how our divorce unfolded. I remember it like a film reel, to create distance I suppose, make it hurt less. There was an intolerance to Dr. Sullivan that made him […]
Always an earthquake before the tsunami, isn’t there? Looking back you think there musta been a sign, musta been a warning that change was coming. And maybe there was, too subtle to see. If I could go back and stay asleep that day, would things have been different? ‘Cause the moment I woke, the world […]
We were lined up facing each other, he and I. That long row of window seats on the 146. Sat across from him, eyeing his pantyhose. He sat across from me, eyeing me, eyeing his pantyhose. He’d been jogging, the blue shorts pulled up high. What does it feel like to run in nylons? Is […]
“What do you call a pig that does karate?” On the treadmill, incline at 10, speed at 5, and some guy’s in my face talking about a pork chop. Does he not see me sweating? The Tribune people had left, probably home eating sloppy Joe’s by now. I was stuck. “What’s your name?” the guy […]